Entries Tagged as ''

Settle vs Compromise

Many people seem to use the words settle and compromise interchangeably If they want something and in “negotiating” with someone else they end up with something different, they think this is something they settled of compromised upon.

In my mind, there is a BIG difference between settling and compromising, if the compromise is done properly.

To settle frequently is used to mean accepting less than hoped. For example, a house seller wanted to sell a house for X and the buyer wanted to pay ½ of X so they “settle” for ¾ of X. Both the buyer and the seller feel they settled because the buyer paid more than they wanted while the seller received less than they wanted.

The alternative is when the two sides compromise and understand that a compromise doesn’t have to be zero sum. The example above is a zero sum in that every dollar the buyer paid above what they wanted to pay, the seller received. Effective compromise frequently results in a win/win situation for all involved. Again, using the real estate negotiation as an example, while many people would look at it as either the buyer wins or the seller wins, if done effectively, both can win. The real reason the seller might want a lower price is because they can only afford a certain monthly mortgage payment. While it’s true that lowering the price might result in a lower monthly payment, there are other ways to do this as well. Instead of lowering the price, the seller might agree to owner finance at a lower interest rate or they might agree to go with the same interest rate but financed over 35 years instead of over 30 years. If they choose to go with the same price but with owner financing over a longer period of time, the buyer gets the monthly payments they can afford and the seller gets more money over the long run.

Another example would choosing a restaurant for dinner. One person might recommend a Mexican restaurant while another might recommend an Italian restaurant. If, in their negotiations they think those two are the only options, one will win and one will lose. At best, this would be a settlement. However, if the two sides were to discuss why each recommended the restaurant that they did, they might find that the person who recommended the Italian restaurant likes it because of a certain wine they serve. The person who recommended the Mexican restaurant might know of a Mexican restaurant which serves that same wine. If this is the case, they can compromise and go to the Mexican restaurant that has the wine and now both sides win. It might actually result in them each getting more than they originally asked for.

Finding ways to compromise so that both sides benefit usually requires communication and open minds. Always look to compromise in a way that benefits all as opposed to settling for less

If you enjoy these posts, please encourage others to subscribe by going to http://lawrencefine.com/blog/subscribe/

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Importance of Time

People need to understand the importance of time. They say they will be somewhere at 1 PM and they show up at 1:15. In their mind, it’s no big deal but in reality, it truly is a big deal

If you agree to be somewhere at a given time and are late, your message to the other person is their time has no value so you have no problem wasting it. At the very least, the message is that you feel your time is more valuable than theirs.

If you are 10 minutes late for a meeting with 5 other people, you need to realize you didn’t waste 10 minutes but rather you wasted 10 minutes for each of the 6 of you so you really wasted one full hour.

I believe I have every right to waste as much of my own time as I choose. However, I don’t have the right to waste anyone else’s time.

Some people are late because they want to show they are important. In my opinion, this just shows they are thoughtless and inconsiderate.

People will occasionally be late due to unforeseen occurrences, but it should be the exception as opposed to the rule.

Be considerate of other peoples time, make every effort to be on time and hopefully, others will value your time as well

If you enjoy these posts, please encourage others to subscribe by going to http://lawrencefine.com/blog/subscribe/

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Names

If you ask people to make a list of the words they like to hear the most, and if they are honest, at the top of the list will be their name. People love to hear their name.

Around 10 years ago, I read an article about a very successful cross country coach. When asked the secrets to his success, he mentioned a few different things but one of the big things he mentioned was how he made sure to call every person on his team by their name each day in training. When I read that I thought “that isn’t a big deal, I’m sure I do that when I’m coaching soccer”. Then I started to pay attention and noticed that I was using the star players names every day. I was also calling the “trouble makers” by their name every day. However, I wasn’t calling the rest of the players by their names.

It’s so easy to take people for granted and just assume they are going to continue to do their job each day and not give them the recognition they need and deserve. When I realized I wasn’t giving proper recognition to all of the players on the teams I was coaching, I started to make a conscious effort to call each player by their name each day and also to make some form of personal contact. It could be by providing a coaching tip or simply saying hello and asking them how they were doing.

How many opportunities do you have to call someone by their name and choose not to? It can be something as simple as instead of saying “hello how are you doing?” saying “hello Chris, how are you doing?”

A good example of this being done well would be a hotel I stayed at a year ago. I took a cab to the hotel and there was a security gate at the front. They asked my name and I told them my name and that I was checking in to the hotel. When the cab pulled up to the front door, the doorman said “hello Mr,. Fine, how are you today?”. When I went to the front desk, before I could say anything, the lady said “hello Mr, Fine I hope your trip here was a good one…” I was well aware that the only reason they knew my name was because they were called by the security guard but it made a huge impression on me.

How many opportunities have you lost because you didn’t bother to call someone by their name? How many future opportunities will you lose?

Remember, people love to hear their name. Give them what they want (especially since it doesn’t cost you anything) and see how much more you can get back.

If you enjoy these posts, please encourage others to subscribe by going to http://lawrencefine.com/blog/subscribe/

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Parkinson’s Law

Parkinson’s Law says work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. This means if you have 8 hours to write a report, the report will take you 8 hours. If you have 16 hours for the same report, you will use all 16 hours. It’s not a case of the 16 hour report being higher quality or better longer but rather, people take as much time as they are given to accomplish a task.

This is a valuable concept to keep in mind when doing goal setting because it usually means you can get more done in the same period of time if you push yourself in your time allotments. Rather than giving yourself a lot of time to get something done, now that you have a better understanding of Parkinson’s Law, you will realize you can frequently get the same amount done in a shorter period of time.

It’s important to understand there is a limit to how tightly you can schedule things. If you schedule too little time for a project, the quality will suffer. If you schedule too much time, Parkinson’s Law will result in waste of time.

Scheduling requires a great deal of testing to do it well but please realize, those who are good at it (usually the result of a lot of testing and practice) can get a great deal more accomplished than can others.

If you enjoy these posts, please encourage others to subscribe by going to http://lawrencefine.com/blog/subscribe/

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Be

Be understanding to your enemies.
Be loyal to your friends
Be strong enough to know you cannot do everything alone
Be generous to those who need your help
Be frugal with what you need yourself
Be wise enough to know that you do not know everything
Be foolish enough to believe in miracles
Be willing to share your joys
Be willing to share the sorrows of others
Be a leader when you see a path others have missed
Be a follower when you are shrouded by the mists of uncertainty
Be the first to congratulate an opponent who succeeds.
Be the last to criticize a colleague who fails
Be sure where you your next step will fall, so that you will not tumble
Be loving to those who love you
Be loving to those who do not love you, and they may change
Above all, be yourself
(Author Unknown)

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Small Town vs Big City

A question I get asked frequently when people hear I live in Charleston West Virginia is “why do you live there?”. The reason this gets asked so much is I have lived most of my life in big cities so now living in a small town (and while people here in Charleston might argue that as the capitol of the state we are more than a small town, in relative terms, I would disagree) must be difficult. Their logic is there are so many more things to do in cities such as Washington DC and Atlanta GA than in a place such as Charleston WV.

While it’s true there are more opportunities in a large city, the reality is there are plenty of things to do wherever you might be located. Whether there is one concert you might be interested in attending or ten concerts in an area, you most likely would only attend one so it doesn’t matter. A person could complain about there not being much to do or they can go out and experience the many things they can do (see http://lawrencefine.com/blog/2008/06/control-the-controllable for more on controlling the controllable)

Personally, I have found that I do many more things downtown here in Charleston than I did in any of the big cities I lived in. It’s not that there are more things to do here but rather, it’s easier to find them, they are more inviting and more enjoyable.

The purpose of this post isn’t to sell people on Charleston WV (although I truly am a big fan and if you want to see some reasons why, check out the various links at http://discovercharlestonwv.com/charleston_wv.php) but rather to show there are many things to do regardless of where you are located. It’s so easy to find fault with where you are located but there are true treasures to be found (whether historically, culturally or otherwise) anywhere you might be located.

Live in a big city, live in a small town, live somewhere in between but wherever you live, experience everything it has to offer.

The alternative is to complain about where you are, wish you were somewhere else and be unhappy

You choose!

Have a great day

Lawrence

Control the Controllable

Too often, people worry about things outside their control and ignore the things within their control. The more logical thing to do is worry about (and address) the issues you can control and realize things outside of your control shouldn’t occupy as much of your thoughts or time.

An example would be the person who is constantly complaining because other people are getting raises or promotions. Rather than worrying (and complaining) about other people progressing, this person should concentrate on what they need to do to get a raise or promotion. Instead of thinking “that person isn’t so special” the thought should be “what should I do to to make myself more special?” You can’t control how someone else works, you can’t control how they are perceived by superiors but you can control your performance which would effect the way others perceive you.

While it’s important to understand what others are doing in order to learn from their experiences, learn from what others do then concentrate on your own actions.

A social worker might get frustrated dealing with the same type of problems each day but they would need to realize while they can’t always influence the big picture (meaning if they help one person, there are thousands more where they came from), their actions can have a profound effect on individuals. If they worry about the big picture, which they can’t control, they will get frustrated, but if they concentrate on each individual they can influence, they can make a big difference.

If it’s raining outside, we can’t change that and complaining about it wont do anyone any good. The thing people can change is what they wear, where they go etc

Concentrate on controlling the things you are capable of controlling and let the other things go and you will be much more successful and happier

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Procedures

All organizations have procedures and it’s important to understand there are reasons for the procedures (if there aren’t reasons, then the procedures should be changed or removed).

Since you know there are procedures, and there are reasons for the procedures, it’s important to follow these procedures. This might seem like a logical thing but the reality is, people deviate from procedures more than they should.

What is the problem with doing it a different way? Once you have done it a different way, you have created a precedent that will allow it to be done this way again and again.

Why is this such a big deal? Imagine you have an employee who asks for an advance on their salary. If your policy is that you don’t give advances on salaries, that is an easy way to simply say no. However, if you have given an advance on a salary in the past, it’s much more difficult to say no when the reality is, you have done so in the past and can do so in the future.

Another example would be with a child. If their bed time is 9 PM and one evening you let them stay up till 10 PM, it’s much more difficult to tell them they can’t do that again. While it’s nice to be flexible, it’s important for this flexibility to be built into the procedures. The way to build this into the procedures is to have a 9 PM bedtime on school nights and 10 PM when there is no school the next day. This allows for more flexibility while staying within the rules.

The other problem with procedures is they get created or changed for too many situations. Using soccer as an example, I know of many coaches who have a no practice/no play policy. This simply means if the player misses the team practice, the player can’t play in the next game. While some would say this is a fair rule, it’s important to think of the possible reasons for missing practice. Should a player who misses practice due to a death in the family be treated the same as the player who missed practice due to their decision to go to a movie? At least in my mind, the answer is no. I coached a team where the parents wanted a no practice/no play policy. We would have run into a problem because one of the players ended up missing some practices because he was picked to play on the US national team shortly before we were playing in the US national championships. Should he have been “punished” for not practicing with his club team while he was playing for the national team? To me, that was a simple answer of no. However, if we had the rule of no practice/no play, we would have had a problem.

It’s best to develop the procedures in a way that is strictly structured yet still flexible when needed. To use the salary advance as an example, the policy might be there are no advances allowed without approval from the board of directors. By writing the policy this way, it let’s the employees know advances are not going to be given unless there is an extenuating circumstance that would be important enough to present to the board of directors. Since most people would not be willing to take it to that level, it makes it very easy for the HR people to say no. If there is a true emergency, they could present it to the board to make a final decision.

Make sure your organization has procedures, there is a reason for them and they are followed. Too many organizations have policies and procedures “somewhere” but tend to “play it by ear” as opposed to following them. Inevitably, this ends up causing problems in the long run.

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Take Action

The following was a comment by Joe Nebel posted under the Heroes post at http://lawrencefine.com/blog/2008/05/heroes/ I think the message Joe is making speaks volumes

There are six frogs on a lilly pad…..All six make the decision to jump off the lilly pad into the water.

How many frogs are left on the lilly pad?

The answer….ALL six!

Just making the decision to do something does not mean you take the ACTION to do it. To effectively make a change in your life takes not just interest, which is the convenient thing to do, but instead takes commitment, which is changing your thought process to attain your success.

Have a great day!

Lawrence

Emails

Email has changed the way many of us operate on a daily basis. In my case, I receive hundreds of emails a day (not counting spam) and over the course of a week, am responsible for the sending of hundreds of thousands of email newsletters (the Lawrence Fine Blog being, by far, the smallest of the lists). The question is, what obligations come with the sending and receiving of email?

First of all, if the email is commercial in nature, it must comply with the CAN-SPAM act. You can read more about CAN-SPAM at http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/buspubs/canspam.shtm but to summarize it:

There can be no misleading headers (sender, receiver etc)
The subject line can’t be misleading.
There must be an opt out method
It must be identified as an advertisement and include a physical address for the sender

For those of you reading this in your email (as opposed to on the blog) you can see how I make sure I’m in compliance with this act. The sender of the email is Lawrence Fine, the subject line says it’s from the Lawrence Fine Blog and the topic, there is an opt out link on the bottom of the email along with my physical address. To comply is quite easy (as you can see). To not comply could be potentially very expensive (the penalty could be as much as $11,000 per email sent).

For personal email, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, if you are sending to more than one person, should you use BCC as opposed to showing everyone who you are sending to? There are certainly times you want everyone to know who is receiving the email (for example, if you are inviting a group of 5 people to a gathering, if they all know who is invited they could potentially work together to carpool etc). However, have respect for peoples email addresses and don’t disclose everyones email address unless it’s needed.

Don’t forward an email unless it’s something the person who wrote the original email would want forwarded and then only forward to people who truly need to see the email. For example, I don’t want forwards of jokes or chain letters so the people who forward them to me have to understand that there is a greater likelihood of that email AND FUTURE EMAILS from them not being read. A couple of people will forward a joke to me but these are people who know me quite well and know what I would find funny and appropriate (one only sends me soccer or IT related things that he feels I would find of interest and relevance but this is a person who quite obviously gives some thought before he sends these to me). If you do forward an email, consider deleting unnecessary parts (such as all the other email addresses the email was forwarded to and from in the past).

If you receive email, do everything you can to respond in a timely manner. I admit that this isn’t always possible and some emails are more difficult to respond to than others. Recently, I was at a networking function and this person came up to me, introduced himself, told me what he did and who he worked for and he went on and on about wanting to work together in the future (admittedly, he was most likely talking about him trying to get me to advertise with his company). Later on, at that same function, I met another person who also discussed the type of work they did. That evening, I sent emails to each of these individuals that simply mentioned it was nice meeting them. The second person I met wrote back in a timely manner thanking me for the email etc. The first person, never responded. Who do you think I am more likely to do business with in the future? There is very little doubt in my mind that this first person will contact me at some point wanting something and will never understand how not responding to the first email effects future possibilities (yes I realize it’s possible the email was “lost” in filters but that is why people should use professional email services). Just the other day I sent an email to an author whose books I think are wonderful. He also has a blog and I simply wrote him thanking him for his blog and telling him how much I liked his books. Within 8 minutes, he had replied thanking me for his comments (and it wasn’t an auto responder but rather a real response). He runs one of the most visited sites on the INTERNET and can respond that quickly yet others who are truly struggling never quite get around to the response. The questions that comes to mind is “is he able to reply that quickly because he is successful and has other people working for him” or “is he successful because he deals with minor details like replying to emails?” I believe it’s a little bit of both but mainly the second one. Are there some emails I don’t respond to? Unfortunately yes. I don’t respond to spam, I sometimes don’t respond to ridiculous requests (people emailing asking me to essentially write a book for them because they didn’t understand something and weren’t willing to research it themselves) and sadly, sometimes to friends (I find that if it’s someone I want to give a fair amount of time to in my response because I haven’t heard from them in awhile, I put it in a folder to do later when I have more time available and it’s hard to find time later, this is inexcusable but the reality).

If you use an out of office message, give some serious thought to if it’s really necessary. If you use that email address to subscribe to newsletters, do they really want to know (or care) that you are out of the office? I receive hundreds of out of office emails a day because of the newsletters I send out (and yes I do actually receive them because some people simply reply to an email newsletter so it’s important that someone read them). What you might think is a cute message isn’t so cute when you multiply it by hundreds of other “cute” messages.

Lastly, don’t send anything by email you wouldn’t want published in the local newspaper. Unless you are sending in encrypted form, you need to assume that someone other than the intended person might receive and read this email (either through a hacking of the email program, a forwarded email or a misaddressed email). This is extremely important and frequently forgotten

Email is a wonderful tool when used properly but when used improperly can create major problems. Consider carefully how you use email in personal and business settings

Have a great day!

Lawrence
PS Sorry that this post is longer than most, it’s an extremely important topic and I got a bit carried away